It’s the season where haunted houses, witches and ghosts spring up to scare young kids and adults alike. Interestingly, ghosts don’t usually make it to the top 10 lists of things people fear. More people are afraid of heights or doing public speaking than encountering the supernatural.
Another increasingly common fear is FOMO—Fear of Missing Out. Unlike the scary Halloween decorations that will eventually be put away, FOMO won’t go away anytime soon. Those with FOMO suffer throughout the year. But there’s good news—there are steps you can take to reduce and even eliminate FOMO altogether.
FOMO has probably always existed, but it is a particularly pervasive problem now because social media gives us the ability to check on what people are doing 24 hours a day, seven days a week
An individual with FOMO worries about being left out of social groups and professional opportunities. The anxiety and fear of being excluded might drive individuals with FOMO to do whatever they can do to not miss out, resulting problematic behaviors such as:
• Accepting all invitations and feeling drained and overwhelmed in the process
• Spending money to be part of the in-crowd
• Obsessively checking social media to see who is doing what, sometimes at the expense of sleep
• Experimenting with alcohol or drugs to fit in or to cope with uncomfortable feelings
• Feeling unworthy, lonely, inadequate or less in control
• Obsessing about opportunities lost or doing things so as to not miss out
FOMO has probably always existed, but it is a particularly pervasive problem now because social media gives us the ability to check on what people are doing 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We are bombarded with images of people, friends and strangers alike, doing all kinds of enviable activities like skiing in the Alps, eating amazing food in Greece, getting an incredible promotion, making a ton of money off the hottest investment or having the best time ever (always with multiple exclamation marks!!!!!) with the in-crowd.
Those who are close to individuals from FOMO might suffer as well
In my opinion, almost everybody’s life would pale in comparison to these curated images and posts. Hence, it is totally understandable that one would feel lacking if not doing fantastic activities with wonderful people.
Those who are close to individuals from FOMO might suffer as well. For instance, those with FOMO might be unable to commit to anything because they fear missing out on something better. In addition, they might be tense, irritable, anxious and be difficult to be around.
It might be trendy to laugh at FOMO, but the suffering it brings is painful and real. Currently, there is no official psychological diagnosis for FOMO. However, therapists can effectively treat the anxiety, depression and compulsions that come with FOMO.
Current research shows that reducing social media use has the benefit of reducing depression and anxiety. One recommended strategy is to reduce or eliminate social media use and to manage it in such a way that you are in control of what you see and when. For instance, de-activate popups so you aren’t bombarded with notifications. Having an autoreply could be an option for some who have a fear of not responding right away.
In my view, reducing screen time would then make available time for meaningful activities that are truly engaging, positive and enjoyable, thus reducing negative symptoms. Somehow, we are doing the exact opposite of what the research tells us: We have been lured into spending more time in front of screens, and paying the price of unhappiness as a result.
A useful exercise would be to figure out what is truly meaningful to you and do it. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, focus instead on what would make you joyful and fulfilled.
My personal antidote to FOMO is to have real-time, in-person (if possible) interactions with real people (not AI bots) about their real selves—their joys, sorrows, struggles, challenges. Having these authentic conversations helps us feel that we are not alone in our struggles, and that no one has perfect lives.
FOMO may grip the best of us when we fear losing out. However, we can all benefit from reflecting on the importance of JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out—and doing the activities that are truly meaningful and joyful for us. We could then have a life of joy rather than fear.
Anne Chan is a career consultant and licensed California psychotherapist. She specializes in helping people find happiness in their careers and lives. You can reach her at an*********@***il.com © Anne Chan, 2026
