The “holiday blues” are a cliche—but a true one. As hard as it is to admit to feeling stressed or down during a supposedly happy time, those who feel this way should know they aren’t alone. Before giving out any gifts to others, people can give themselves the gift of self care.
Stick to routines
The best routine to boost mental wellbeing around the holidays may be the routine already in place. Essentially, where possible keep some normality amid the chaos. Kaiser Permanente Psychiatrist Dr. Jacqueline Magno, shares, “If there are certain routines or traditions that are healthy for your household, you want to keep those. You don’t want to please others.” There’s nothing wrong with leaving the party slightly early to get to sleep at a reasonable time, or stocking up on healthy foods for breakfast and lunch before a rich dinner. It’s also OK to take a break from socializing to exercise, meditate, write or draw—any mood-boosting activity. Keeping up with some of these positive routines will help avoid burnout from a sudden shift in lifestyle.
For addicts especially, it’s important to keep up with meetings so they have support around a stressful time. Therapists working in addiction treatment know this and will try to work around time off and travel schedules.
Exercise
Movement is also key to keeping equilibrium. Dr. Michael Stanton, licensed clinical health psychologist and Assistant Professor at Cal State University East Bay, shares that exercise can help treat depression (and doesn’t even require a prescription). He encourages his students traveling home for winter break to look up short term gym memberships in their hometowns. But exercise doesn’t have to be going to the gym. It could be as simple as taking a walk or doing yoga at home. “Any bit of movement is going to help you feel better,” says Stanton.
If possible, going outside is preferable. In the winter it’s more difficult to get Vitamin D because of less sunlight, and people also suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Chances to be outdoors in natural light are harder to come by.
Set boundaries
However, exercise, diet and sleep only help if actually observed, even in the face of pressure to go with the flow. “Some have a hard time saying no,” shares Dr. Magno. “That’s part of self care, to learn how to set boundaries or say no.” People don’t want to disappoint loved ones, or they may have less power to set their own schedules—for example a college student living at their parents’ house without a car. So this is one area where picking battles is also key.
People can also set boundaries around topics of conversation at family gatherings. “Make it light during the holiday season,” Magno advises. “During the holiday season, try to avoid talking about politics! Unless you can handle it. Because not everybody can be mature about it.” Heated topics can drive stress, anger and confrontation. It’s fine to disengage, or for the host, to tell people to be respectful.
Do less
Michael Stanton reflects on how modern American culture can be stress-inducing because it lost traditions that helped humans keep balance. “In this culture, it’s so hard for us to build quiet time. It used to happen naturally with prayer, going to church or going to temple, whatever spiritual tradition you had.”
He also advises people to unglue from phones, which can be difficult. “Oftentimes it’s your alarm clock. But that also means that it’s so close to your head that it’s always there, and you can always pick it up.”
The wealth of information contained in handheld devices can distract from the people in the same room who may only be there for a few hours, while simultaneously encouraging rumination. “It’s tempting to binge on political news or something that’s distressing,” Stanton says. It’s human to be concerned about the troubles in the world, but disrupting moments of peace and love will only keep people in a state of perpetual burnout and panic, less effective at helping anyone.
“Am I having fun yet” is a question that can never be answered positively as long as it’s being asked. Similarly trying to defeat anxiety or depression head on is a losing battle. Instead, take their power away by replacing them with something positive.
Michael Stanton has also written on health routines for East Bay Express. Read his article here: eastbayexpress.com/training-your-mind-10for-the-new-normal-1/
Sources: www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
