A few weekends ago I celebrated one of my best friend’s birthdays. I’ve known her for over 10 years, so we know each other pretty well. The downside of our friendship is how far away we live from each other.
After meeting freshman year of college we had the luxury of either living together or being a 10-minute walk from each other. Of course, one of the cruel parts of growing up is getting closer to friends while simultaneously growing farther apart geographically.
Another one of my best friends—also from college—is currently in the weeds of the house selling and buying process. After thinking an hour-and-a-half drive to visit her a few times a month was strenuous, life taught me a lesson in gratitude and decided to move her five states away.
The bittersweet journey of adult friendships has become one the most fulfilling, saddening and beautiful parts of my life. As kids, friendships are simple and light. Connection comes from proximity when we are young. As we grow older, the source of connection starts to take on a different form. It comes from difficult moments that friends get through together, hearing the tough advice that can only come from a person you trust who wants the best for you, and the small tears and repairs that can only be made between two people who care enough to not let go of friendship.
One of my best friends told me a few weeks ago that when she misses me she reads my TCV editorials. I was shocked when she told me, but it was also funny to me that of all the ways she could connect with me, reading the words I’ve put down was her way of doing it. I would’ve never thought that reading my published work here would bring her some comfort.
It got me thinking about how much writing can save so many connections. Something like texting has kept people together in small moments throughout daily tasks. I have a college friends group chat that will soon keep four girls in three different states all connected.
Another one of my friends and I have started to reconnect by mailing a composition notebook back and forth between California and Nebraska. We write to each other in the notebook so we can have all our letters in one place. We also include doodles, photos and funny things like stickers. That’s the kind of creativity it takes to keep up adult friendships.
I tend to forget about the different sorts of power writing has. The power to inform, persuade and keep people connected.
As for my friend, I’ll see how long it takes her to miss me enough to read this editorial.
