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March 2, 2004 > Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen: Why, Disney?

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen: Why, Disney?

Rated: PG

by Susana Nu&241;ez

If only Walt could save his beloved fans. "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" is one of the worst, or possibly, the worst Disney film ever produced. The film presents the typical teenager as a shallow, cliquey, and intolerant "drama queen" named Mary Cep (Lindsay Lohan). Most of us have had an encounter with a "drama queen," but is it right for Disney to draw parallels between Mary Cep and most teenagers?

The film begins with Mary Cep and her mother Karen (Glenne Headly) moving from the Big Apple to New Jersey. Mary complains during the entire ride. This is understandable; teenagers and children dislike letting go of familiar surroundings, especially when it means letting go of your friends and entering a different school. But Mary begins to push it a little. She winces at her mother for calling her by her name and declares from then on she will be known as "Lola" Cep. This name she knows, should have been hers since her childhood, a childhood she has obviously not outgrown.

"Lola" is still sulking and annoying during her first day of school, stating that life is "simply not worth living" and how unfair it is to be living in the middle of a "cultural
wasteland.". An almost joyful feeling emerges from one when "Lola" has her first encounter with a new rival, Carla Santini (Megan Fox). Here is someone who will put her in her place! But alas, "Lola" manages to grab the attention of a potential friend, Ella Gerrard (Alison Pill). The story goes from bad to worse: "Lola," in an effort to win Ella as a new friend, tells Ella the tragic story of how she was a love child and how her father died shortly after her birth in a horrible motorcycle accident. This is, of course, a lie. In reality, her parents are divorced, but still have a good relationship. Ella completely falls into "Lola"'s trap and succumbs to being her new best friend. Why Disney?

The movie spirals downward as "Lola" tries out for the school play, a modern day version of Pygmalion. "Lola" and Ella venture into the world of rock stars, stalking Stu Wolf (Adam Garcia) from their favorite band, Sidarthur. Although Dad is close-by, keeping an eye on the girls, they still manage to make some dumb decisions in order to get to the after party of Sidarthur's last show.

The film's conclusion is dismaying. "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" employs every negative stereotype of teenagers. Everyone makes mistakes in their youth, but portraying a girl who attains all she ever hoped for through a dramatic persona doesn't seem like the Disney audiences once knew.

Following the unfortunate remake of "Freaky Friday," has Lindsay Lohan irrevocably damaged her career with this film? Producer Jerry Leider stated, "The thing that got me interested in this movie is that I felt that others would relate to it, too. This movie really tells it like it is, about how girls are in school and what really goes on...this story is going to hit home with teens."

Hopefully, the film doesn't "hit home" or inspire any teen or adolescent to be a "Lola" and simply get what they want. Everyone loves to dream and set goals, but not as Lohan's "Lola!"

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